Losing Someone

How to lose someone who loves you unconditionally? The first time I felt this was 3 years ago when my bestfriend Nino died. And until now there are still times that I get hurt, felt hopeless. Realized that there are things you can never really stop. No matter how much pushy you are or how much you’re like McGyver who gets his way just to get things done. When it comes to death, it’s something real, it’s something uncontrollable. Something that you need to face and slowly accept that when people died there’s no way for you to see that people again here on earth. No more…not today… not tomorrow... never… no chance… not even a little… no chance of even hearing his/her voice... No chance for you to share even just one more laughter or smile… No chance of arguing... of sharing thoughts... of defending yourself… and hearing them out… No more reminiscing with their past and telling you to learn from it... Most of all no more chance to feel the things they can uniquely do for you… Touching your heart and making you feel you are very special... you are loved… you are cared for even if you don’t listen... even if you don’t agree… even if you can’t hear them out… even if you think your better than them… It’s totally different than getting angry with somebody… committing mistakes today and got the chance to correct it tomorrow. .. Death is definite that means a permanent lost here on earth…

Thank You

To the person who have shown me appreciation... Who's whenever present, sits with the crowd and always gives a big smile to me and telling me I can do It! My most loyal fan and greatest cheerleader... I will miss you tita, Mirasol San Diego Buela ... Your ways are always an assurance that I am loved and cared for , even if I'm at my worst... With all that , how can I not tell you that you will always be my favorite tita... And how can I not miss you so badly... I love you so much.

after 6 months....

I can't believe it!!!! Almost 6 months.. Bakit nga ba? well I just really don't feel like writing after maybe two to three months of Onin's death. Then hanggang sa naging sobrang busy... Kamusta na ba ko after Onin's death? ganun na ba ko kadali nakarecover? Nope there's still times pag naiisip ko siya iiyak na lang ako bigla. Parang ngayon.. I can't fight it.. and i guess i will always be this way. Y not? Hey he's one of the best people i've got. He's one of the person whom I know loved me so much.. But i've got to face it. we all need to face it. Anyway I'm praying that his death was not in vain. I just hope that those people who mourned after his death, keeps a little lesson in their heart.. at least a little knowledge...care..and wisdom of what really life is all about. Of how fast and easy it can be taken away from someone.. and a little awareness of our purpose in life.. why are we here?? Onin wherever you are right now, i would like you to know that your death taught me a very very good lesson in life.. that life is too short.. that we should be doing things that God had designed and planned us to really do.. and it's not having a good paying job, not having a lot of gimmiks, beautiful girlfriend, poging bf... it aint' the reason why we're here.. Sooner or later we will all die.. and when we die, what would really matter? It's how we spread God's words.. it's how many crowns we gonna have because of the people we were able to show God...and life is not about money..it's not about all the material things that we can have here... it's all about HIM...it's all about God.. Onin...I'm gonna live my life like everyday's the last....Sayang Onin you won't be physically around on my wedding day..Nung nagpropose si dennis naiimgaine kita na unang unang magiging masaya for me.. Lolokhin mo ko at tatanungin kung sigurado na ba ko? Oh that funny face of yours.. Ung tawa mo.. the way you would walk and talk to me.. But I know you still are.. I love you bestfriend.. sayang i didn't grab the opportunity to tell you that nung buhay ka pa..kasi baka mamisinterpret mo..hehehe.. but you know that.. you Literally been there for me.. never gave up on me..and never left me... Even if i can't return the love you wish i would, you still never left me.. Loving and staying even if you are hurting.. Mahal namahal po kita and until now I miss you so much.. Thank you for everything... you love me unconditionally..

I’m gonna live my lifeLike every day’s the last
Without a simple good-bye
It all goes by so fast

And now that you’re goneI can’t cry hard enough

No I can’t cry hard enough For you to hear me now

Gonna open my eyes

And see for the first time

I’ve let go of you like A child letting go of his kite

There it goes – up in the sky

There it goes – beyond the clouds

For no reason whyI can’t cry hard enough

No I can’t cry hard enough

For you to hear me now

Gonna look back in vain

And see you standing there

When all that remainsIs an empty chair

And now that you’re goneI can’t cry hard enough

No I can’t cry hard enough

For you to hear me now

There it goes – up in the sky

There it goes – beyond the clouds

For no reason whyI can’t cry hard enough

No I can’t cry hard enough

For you to hear me now

And now that you’re goneI can’t cry hard enough

No I can’t cry hard enough

For you to hear me now